Saturday, November 10, 2007

What I Miss Most, Jurl




The reality of marriage or any long term relationship is that it's rich in comfort and familiar love, but short on the excitement that new love brings. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to trade in my husband of eight years for the dating scene (not when I'm a 35 year old manatee with two kids, anyway), but I recognize that I sometimes long for the chase, the flirting, the first touch, and that first, soft, luscious kiss. Even better than the first kiss is the anticipation of it. That moment where the air around you becomes electric and you are pulled together by mutual desire. He bends his head and you lift your chin, just before your lips touch you hesitate and a small breath of heat washes over you, stopping your heart. Then your lips touch and it's fireworks, a symphony, an aria, a sonnet. Nothing is like that kiss, that first kiss.

Yes, I'm a little sad that first kisses are a thing of the past for me, but I have traded them for other firsts. Like the first smile my babies gave me, the first time I heard "I need you Momma", the first step of a wobbly tot, the first day of school, and a multitude of other firsts that I have witnessed as well as those I have yet to see. When my daughter puts her hand on my cheek and says, "You're the best Mommy," my heart skips a beat and I'm filled with a gush of love that is indescribable.

So I've clearly made a good deal, trading any future first kisses for marriage and children. Every once in awhile I start to think I made a terrible business decision and bought myself a lemon, but then I'm softened by baby gurgles, chocolate covered faces, and a dishwasher that has been emptied my comfortable, lovable husband.

If you're still looking for Mr. Right, savor those first kiss moments. Even if the guy turns out to be Mr. Turd at least you have that electric moment (Unless it's a bad kiss, i.e. too much tongue, too much tooth, too hard, too soft, too much garlic). But, if you're like me and have said adios to said thrills go ahead and review a few first kiss moments from your past without any guilt. Oh, and know you too made a pretty decent deal, jurl.

5 comments:

Rachel Inbar said...

I'm a first-time visitor (reciprocating a visit I got via BlogHer) and I enjoyed reading what you wrote...

I was married for 13 years and then divorced & got into a new relationship that took my breath away... I couldn't think of anything else for months. I knew things would change (no one's adrenaline can stay that high forever :-)) and then we got married & we now have 2-1/2 kids (+ my 3 from before) and what's amazing is that it's still there - not every second, but I still get excited about the first kiss when he comes home after a long day; a walk outside together (usually with 2 strollers); a quiet dinner after the kids go to sleep... I think the key is to just keep rekindling the flame & then you get to feel the adrenaline rush over and over again... with all the safe and warm feelings it's even better.

Bastet said...

Think of it as the firsts you get together, ie. the baby's firsts that you share together.

But also, treat every kiss as it was the first, build up the moment (anticipation) with a little love note in the morning...Make it a date for that evening after the kids are in bed. Set the mood, and drink some wine. Have fun!

Elle Woods said...

Hmmm, after reading that first paragraph, I thought perhaps you had taken PIP's advice and had started reading romance novels.

Anonymous said...

Note on Elle Woods' comment: I think you should start WRITING romance novels. I became a little overheated in my office, indeed. Start writing that stuff, and nookie with hubby surely will follow quickly.

Robin said...

Mr Turd? Oh, that is too funny, jurl. sorry I havn't read in a while, gave birth 6 weeks ago. In a haze.