Thursday, March 27, 2008

A Jurl and Her Fat Panties

The other night I was getting ready for bed and as usual my daughter was right there beside me while I was trying to get undressed. Out of nowhere she says, "You have fat panties."

I said, "Say what?"

She said again, "You have fat panties."

"Well, what's that supposed to mean?" I asked, kind of already knowing where this was heading.

"'re a fat girl."

"That's just rude."

She then poked said fat and declared again, "You really are a fat girl."

Can you believe the abuse I have to take in my own home?! I explained to her that having two children had raped my body and left me damaged forever so thanks a lot (though they only get the blame for part of it, but she's just a dumb three year old and doesn't need to know everything). I also told her it's rude to point out fatness!

A guilty look past over her face and she said, "Don't tell Daddy."

"Don't worry," I said. Cause guess what? He's figured it out. And like I want to tell my husband our daughter called me fat girl? I think not.

Now, she's seen me without clothes more than any other human, outside of my mother, so why she decided to offer some observations about my body on this particular evening, I have no idea. But, it's funny how I'd kind of convinced myself she'd never notice I was on the round side and I could just pretend I was a petite little thing when it was just me and her. She's not blind for Heaven's sake, but still I had hope that a daughter's love was blind......

Oh, well, she was just stating a fact after all so I won't hold it against her, but I think I'm going to start locking her out of the bedroom when I disrobe. It's one thing to remind me I'm a fat girl, but a whole other cruelty to mock my fat panties.


Anonymous said...

I need more cowbell.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, couldn't resist. I love that episode of SNL. Translation: give us more blog.

Anonymous said...

WE ARE JURL ADDICTS!!! Do you have a jurlpower anonymous 12 step program we can sign up for?