Well, jurls, you may have heard that Oprah is having a contest where people submit video auditions for their own talk show. Yes, of course, I submitted one. My bestie, Dora the Explorer, told me about it and forced me to do it (by force I mean suggested). And I tell you with no false humility, it's not very good. My own mother was hesitant to vote for me! However, when I told her about the contest her initial reaction was, "won't you have to move somewhere they film?" In other words, unless the show is shot in Dallas she will be praying to Jesus that I don't win. Not that Jesus needs to get involved for that since I pretty much guaranteed a loser. Ah, disappointment! You comfortable old friend!
Lucky for me the life I actually have is pretty sweet. I mean between Jake's Poopcasso masterpieces, Sam's teenager attitude out of her six year old mouth, Husband's domestic stupidity, and 42 piles of laundry all around me, I just can't ask for more.
Being rich and famous would probably be overkill for me anyway. I prefer shopping at Super Target with only my kids nagging me for my attention! And if their clamouring for me gets on my last friggin nerve I hate to think how I would react to autograph seekers.
And let's face it- I'd only go about one week before I said something that others found controversial and then Oprah would order me to apologize to America and then I'd tell Oprah and America to suck it. I'd be back at Super Target in half a tick.
I'll stick to my blog where only my Mother can censor me and only in relation to the F word. Oh, and Husband, but only in relation to our sex lives (which is a shame cause I have a hilarious moment from the other night..hee hee)
peace out, jurls!
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