Ah, jurls, I finished my book. And it's kind of like having a big poop-- feels great to get it out, but when it won't flush it ruins your day. I've got a finished book and....so what? Now I want it to be published, somehow, somewhere, some way.
But what does a mom/lawyer in Dallas, Texas know about getting published? Nada, but thanks to the internets I've learned a few things. First of all you can't hardly get published without an agent (but it's real hard to get an agent if you haven't been published).
Second of all, you need a really super duper, awesome Query Letter to send out to agents. Brief, to the point, with just enough suck up to convince a total stranger with better things to do, they should spend several hours of their life reading your sad little tale.
Third of all, if you're a mom/lawyer in Dallas, Texas you're pretty much screwed.
This is the part I've always dreaded. Writing the book was easy, it's the begging someone, anyone to please, please love me that is heartbreaking. Writing my Query Letter felt a bit like writing a dating profile except with less chance of success. "Hi, my book is titled The Fat Rules and it loves bubble baths and sleeping ten hours a day. It's turn offs include being read in the bathroom and rejection."
REJECTION (how it sounds in my mind) is the stuff of nightmares. I realize it's not fun for anyone, but it's so hard for me I considered putting my book away with the hope that upon my death it would be discovered and hailed as the hilarious romp I always intended. But I know that's insane in the membrane, so I wrote my dating profile, I mean Query Letter, and sent it out to about twenty agents I thought might, might be somewhat, slightly right for it. So far four direct rejections (one very nice one) and sixteen or so silent rejections (never heard back).
I haven't done a thing since I sent the last letter out a month ago. I need to revamp my Query and try again, but my inner resistance has been hard to overcome. If success was measured in the amount of give up in a person I would be Oprah. I return to this blog in an effort to motivate myself and share this experience with anyone who might, like me, have a dream they find so silly and terrifying it paralyzes the soul.
At the end of this day, I will have at least done this small thing.
The soundtrack to this post: "Say Something" by A Great big World and Christina Aguilera