Thursday, January 3, 2008

Rockin New Year's Jurl

I'd like to submit for jurl consideration that New Year's Eve is the most overrated holiday of all holidays. There's a lot of build up for not much payoff. And the pressure! When you're young and single there is the feeling you have got to do something fabulous or you fail as a human being. But no matter how great the plan, how big the party, or how dapper the date, it's still kind of a let down. Just a night like any other with a lot of drinking and party hats.

I don't think I've ever had a spectacular New Year's Eve. There was the year I got drunk on one giant hurricane so early in the evening I'd already puked by 10:00 p.m. and was ready to go home. Then there was the year I thought it'd be fun to wear fake eyelashes, but when I put them on they were way too long so I trimmed them-while they were still attached to my real eyelashes. This resulted in the great eyelash incident of 93. My eyes were bald for a month.

How about the year I actually had a date who took me to a lame party where he got drunk and accused me of flirting with his best friend? That was fun. And what's the point of popping champagne at midnight? It's freaking midnight. Either you're too drunk to care about the champagne or you never really got started. Does anyone start drinking at midnight?

My best New Year's Eve parties were when I was in elementary. My cousin would spend the night-we would decorate with streamers and balloons, make confetti, and brew lime sherbet punch. The best was drinking the punch out of those plastic champagne glasses. We'd munch on pizza and watch movies until midnight, then we'd turn on Dick Clark's Rocking New Year crap and throw confetti all over the place once the New Year arrived. The next mooring we'd awake to a confetti covered floor we had to clean up, but no hangover so it all worked out.

Now that I'm married it's really lame, but at least there's no pressure to be anything other than lame. This year I resurrected the punch for my daughter and I to share while my husband took 400 pictures of our six month old wearing nothing but a diaper and 2008 sash. I had so much punch I couldn't get down the one glass of wine I'd poured myself. LAME.

On another note, I hate Ryan Seacrest. Can't explain it, but am sad to see he's Dick Clark's successor. Though I really wish Dick Clark would retire because my dark side sparks to life when he talks and find myself on the verge of imitating his warbly speech. I know that's evil, but I'm evil.

I think next year I'll spike my portion of the punch. Happy New Year, Jurls.


Mom to the Taveling Circus said...

I considered making the lime sherbert punch for New Years but decided against it at the last moment. We opted for juice boxes for the kiddos since we had a total of 9 kids over and we have new couches less than a week old, not sure the two would have mixed well. As for New Years I find them overated as well, and spent my night alone on the couch once the fam went across the street for dessert and to ring in the new year. I especially hate when asked what my resolution is, I tell them I don't make promises to myself that I am sure to break but I want to try to not be such a B*tch, so far I am not off to a good start I am 1 for 3. Happy New Year anyway.

Heather said...

I agree with your entire post! I hate champagne but drink it, am too tired to stay up late but do it anyway, and cringe at the mention of Ryan Seacrest. I'm perfectly happy to let the kids celebrate, bang pots and pans at 10:00 and then head to bed.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! Those years of lime sherbert punch WERE the best! I think we must have made five lbs. of confetti at least and as I recall, all decor and confetti had to be vacuumed up before "THE BEAR" woke up. I seem to remember vacuuming at 12:01 a.m. (or somewhere close to that). I'm sure the neighbors in nearby apartments loved us. Ahhh, those were the days. Our big plans this year for playing Uno even went bye-bye as we were all three yawning at 9:00. I don't think I've stayed up past 10:30 on New Year's Eve for a few years now and am so happy to not feel the pressure to party!
Love ya!

amy from austin said...

dude, dick was killing me. i was in bed at 11:30. asleep by 11:32. happy new year!

Anonymous said...

We took all three kiddos with us to my sisters. We played dominos and stayed up to late. It was an ass-kicking for me 'cuz I had to wake up at 6:00 to feed the baby.

Anonymous said...

I LOATHE Ryan Seacrest. He's an evil, stupid little weasel! He looks like he has a permanantly surprised look on his face--from the hot poker someone just rammed up his tush. I love nothing more than when Simon Cowell emasculates Seacrest on American Idol. I find myself wanting to hug Cowell in those moments.

April said...

LMAO!! Hillarious! Complete agreement on ALL points! My hubcaps starts imitation Dick and then I hit him and of course, can't stop laughing, yes, it IS evil....and Ryan, come ON! We drank Mojitos this year - no champagne and watched a movie. In bed by 1AM, yes, I know, lame.