Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Wild Jurls

Oh, what a difference a decade makes. This past weekend me and my jurls went to Austin to visit one of our dearest jurlfriends and, of course, middle-aged hilarity ensued. I have known these women for ten years and in some instances even longer so I remember what we were like before husbands, babies, and bladder control issues. We're not quite the wild jurls we used to be when we were in our twenties.

First of all, when you're young...I mean in your twenties...and start drinking at noon it's because you've got nothing else to do, but sip margaritas and hang. When you're old...I mean in your thirties, you start drinking at noon because you are so excited to be without a small human yelling "Mommy! Where's my yellow blanket?" or a large human yelling, "Where are my clean boxers?" and you NEED the tequila to relax your mom-frazzled nerves.

When you're in your twenties you tour shop after shop looking for cute buys, but when you're in your thirties you cruise a couple stores, remember you don't have any money to spend because your kids have sucked your bank account dry and understand that the really cool birdhouse covered in shells really isn't that cool. This older, wiser woman gives up the shopping and heads to a bar with a lovely patio and more margaritas.

Now, the hip young thing would probably spend the evening bar crawling, club hopping, and being hit on by a cache of inebriated dudes, but not that older, wiser chick. The mature mommas retire at around 7:00 p.m. to a friend's house to cook up a fine dinner of pork tenderloin, potato casserole, and salad. That's right; we've traded the cache of dudes for a cache of calories.

However, one thing remains constant-continued consumption of alcoholic beverages. Though wine is the focus for us older ladies, we'll leave the shots to you young jurls.

Some other "Then and Now" differences I noted while "partying" with my jurls:

Then if you spilt booze on yourself you probably didn't notice till you woke up the next day covered in sticky substances that you prayed were in fact booze.

Now when someone spills wine on their clothes there's a breakdown in fun while club soda is applied.

Then when you were moved to do some cheerleading moves you still remember from high school all the guys were turned on by your agility and your thong that came peaking out.

Now when you show off those old cheer jumps your jurlfriends are impressed that you can get off the ground like that and not need pain killers.

Then you danced, danced, danced!

Now you dance, dance, then Oops! I peed myself!

Then you groaned when a guy belched.

Now you give a sympathetic, knowing smile when you're friend makes a sad face and says, "I tooted."

Then you used your bra as a purse carrying your lipstick, license, and money.

Now the only thing your bra is carrying is your age/pregnancy ravaged boobs.

Then you were constantly on your cell one had cell phones when we were young.

Now you're constantly on your cell phone making sure your husband didn't feed your kids gummy worms for dinner.

Then you talked about parents, guys, classes, and bitches you hated.
Now you talk about husband, children, work, and bitches you hate.

Then you talked about getting a tattoo and even went so far as to pick one, but chickened out while your friend went for it.

Now you laugh as your friend confesses her tattoo, so wisely placed on her bikini area, has a stretch mark running through it, giving it a stroked-out look.

Then you shut the bars down at 2:00 a.m.

Now, you're struggling to make it to midnight....longing for sleepy time.

Though we're older and our partying ways have certainly changed, I have to say these days I have more fun than I ever had in my twenties. Back in the day we were supporting players in each other's bid to be the hottest chick in town; chasing guys and downing jello-shots.

Now when we're together it's about true friendship-friendships that have weathered marriages, divorces, children, and more children. That's saying a lot because once you are distracted by life one of the first things you're tempted to let slide is your jurlfriends. What a terrible mistake that would be. Family is important, but so are your friends. Who else will understand why you want to choke the life out of your toddler? Who else will side with you against your husband every time? Who else will order you to love yourself and go ahead and buy that expensive purse?! No, you must hang on to the wonderful women in your life because it's now that you need them most.

We may not party like rock stars, but we laugh till we pee ourselves and that's worth so much more to this thirty-five year old mother of two.


Beverly said...


Angie said...

Great post! Nothing to add and no wit to invoke. Love it!

Mom to the Taveling Circus said...

I agree with everything you say, one thing I will add today I know who my true friends really are because they are the ones who have seen the ugliest side of me and are still around.

Cheers, to good friends!

Anonymous said...

Too funny! I prefer my thirties to my twenties. Loss of bladder control due to three kiddos and all!