Deception happens in the best marriages. A third party stumbles into your life with all the mystery and heat that in your marriage has given way to comfort and routine. Despite my vow to be faithful to my husband, and despite the fact we have a happy marriage, I've stumbled into an affair with a new kind of lover- one that has swept me off my feet.
It started innocently enough with a trip to Super Target for toilet paper and toothpaste, but before I knew it I was back for fruit and milk. It wasn't long before I started buying everything at Super Target...even items I'd previously purchased at the grocery store. Before I knew what was happening, shopping trips became private get aways where I strolled the aisles in search of incidentals and nothing in particulars. Everywhere I went I could hear the soft whisper of Super Target..."I have everything you need.....face cream....sandals......big bosom bras......you don't need anyone else, but me."
Soon we were seeing each other twice a week. Once a week was easy because the groceries had to be bought(I did have to convince Husband local grocery stores weren't any cheaper than Super Target), but the second trip was harder to explain. Luckily, Super Target has everything so any need that arose during the week I could cure it with a quick trip to see my secret love. Inevitably, there were questions. How much did you spend at Target? How many times a week did you go to Target? What could possibly add up to $300.00 at Target?! Somehow I managed to hide the truth...that I was caught up in a red hot affair!
But lately, the romance has turned cold. I go seeking comfort and perhaps a cheap purse that looks kind of like one I saw featured in In Style (if you squint) and instead I leave with a Barbie doll, diapers, and a cart full of food, the purse forgotten in the rush to grab whatever I can and get home before it's too late (and Husband starts asking questions). These quickies leave me feeling empty and bereft of the affection I'd come to expect from Super Target. I no longer feel we have a one on one relationship as I vie for attention amongst the throng of other Super Target lovers. I knew Super Target wasn't a one woman kind of store, but it's getting ridiculous (especially around 5:30 p.m.)!
This secret life is so exhausting I can't even make it over to the side of Super Target that holds the key to my heart...make-up, accessories, music, books, purses...... It's like only one of us is getting off and it's not me.
Super Target is a cruel master. I give and give (money and lots of it), but as my family demands increase, what I'm getting from this relationship decreases. After a rendezvous I tell myself, "no more!" Only once a week for groceries and nothing else! But, before I know it, those sexy Target commercials seduce me back to that unholy Casanova of a store where I find myself pushing one of those dastardly red carts (with a broken wheel), and gazing at mod lamp shades while debating buying a polka dot Isaac Mizrahi dress.......
Oh, love! How you hurt me! Release me from your clever marketing!!