Monday, May 19, 2008

Scarred For Life Jurl

In the 1970s Mattel set out to teach young ladies about their budding sexuality with Skipper and her growing breasts. Skipper was Barbie's younger sister and at least one version of her had boobs that grew when you twisted her arm. Not only did Mattel think this was a good idea, but apparently so did my parents because I had just such a Skipper doll. Though, after a million or so arm twists the boobs got stuck in their upright position. The only thing that would have made her more realistic was a leg that when twisted, shot pubic hair out of her prives. Oh, and if she drank red kool-aid she got her period! They could have had a grooming and hygiene set complete with pads (and belt, it was the 70s) and razor! It would have been sold separately, of course.

Of course, today's toy makers go even further than Skipper and her pup, Tits McGee. Below is a toy from Great Britain that appears to be a stripper kit.

That's right for $75.00 your little dancer can unleash the sex kitten inside ...with Peekaboo Dance Dollars!" Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit includes: an 8.5-foot chrome pole; a "sexy dance garter"; and play money for stuffing into said garter.

I really hope someone got fired over this one. Or arrested.

I've previously criticized the Bratz dolls for being whores, but I think the worst has yet to come. Apparently, the Pussycat Dolls are going to have actual dolls of themselves marketed to 8 year olds. Yes, the Pussycat Dolls that sing things like, "loosen up my buttons, baby" and "don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me." Now, I'm a fan of the tunes, but a Pussycat Doll doll cannot be appropriate for anyone under twenty.
I hope they come with underwear.

Why does everything have to be nasty these days? Oh, God. I just turned into my mother.


Beverly said...

I totally agree!!

Anonymous said...

My brother wants to start a line of dolls called Slutz. Now it looks like the market is saturated. Dammit!

Sua Sponte

Carey said...

I agree too! I am really afraid to see what they will be marketing to my girl in a couple years...trailer-trash barbie...which by the way, really does exist! Scarey!