Monday, August 18, 2008

Over Sexed Jurl

Married women all over the world are suffering from a little known sexual disease: Greedy Bastard Syndrome, or GBS. GBS can strike at anytime and in any marriage. GBS is caused by giving a husband any sexual attention that then leads to increased demands by husband for even greater sexcapades.

Telltale signs include:

a not-so-gentle prodding with a penis in various locations of your body- lower back, elbow, knee pit...

inappropriate nipple twisting

unsolicited back-rubs

angry pillow fluffing when sexual contact denied

One woman suffering from GBS had this to say:

"It's like a fire, if you fail to tend it dies out completely, but if you stoke it just a bit it will roar back to life! One minute you've got smouldering embers and the next you're in the middle of a California wild fire!"

Another woman said, "I had a friend who had GBS really bad. Her clitoris melted."

Currently, there is no cure for GBS, but every day we're one step closer to erradicating this terrible syndrome. Saving GBS sufferers one clit at a time!


Holly Golightly said...

Hmmm... my cure sort of throws the baby out with the bathwater and requires you to 1) take the trash out yourself; 2) shuffle spawn to and fro yourself every time; 3) tolerate the clit-du-jour that replaces yourse; and 4) put up with him anyway.

So... while I wouldn't trade my cure for the world, it probably isn't for you.

Let me suggest a porn-of -month subscription from you to him. Let him pop in the DVD and take care of his issues without you. Tell him you need some time to heal from the last time he ravaged you.

Anonymous said...

We have a bad case of GBS in our household as well. Is it not enough I gave him sex on Saturday, and then again on Sunday, then today he has been up my butt (not literally) with his "what do I need to do so that we can go three days in a row?" UGH UGH UGH!!! I am freaking exhausted, would it be horrible to find a hooker for nights like tonight? JK ;)


jennster said...

lmfao- omg. i think i've been experiencing this since BEFORE marriage. does that mean there's something EXTRA wrong with him?

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