Saturday, August 16, 2008

Think I'm Dying, Jurls


So, the IUD was supposed to make my Margaret lighter, but I'm here to tell you I'm having the worst Margaret I've had since the eight grade. As I walked across my backyard the other day my mother asked "what's on your skirt?" Sam, right on my heels as always, offered, "Is it a coffee stain?"

I twisted around to see what was going on back there to find it was most certainly not a coffee stain. It looked like I'd been shot. In the ass.

And today I burst into tears when Husband mocked my drawing of a broom on our brand new "House Rules" chart. In our ever evolving attempt to beat the Satan out of our daughter I decided to implement the Super Nanny rule chart using pictures to help Sam understand. First, Husband mocked my drawing of an ear (listen) and then my broom (clean up). I put my marker down, stood up, and said, "I can't do this anymore." Not sure if I meant the chart or life.....

Husband called to me, but I ran (o.k., shuffled) to the bedroom where I pulled the covers over my head and balled my eyes out. A few moments later I felt Husband sink onto the side of the bed. "Seriously, are you pregnant?" (because I'm crazy when I'm knocked up, extra crazy)

"No! I'm bleeding to death!" I said through heaving sobs.

"Hmm. Then why are you acting crazy?"

"You made fun of my..sob..sob..broom..sob.."

"I've just never seen a broom with such a short handle."

"It was a whisk broom!!"

"Are you sure you're not pregnant?"

"No....I told you...IUD....margaret...hemorrhaging..."

"Hmm. Well, maybe you need to have a medium of the road Margaret? You know, not too heavy, not too light? Maybe it's messing you up."

"Don't make fun of my rule chart."


"It's a whisk broom..."


Pretty sure the next step is writing my name in my own poop on the bathroom wall.


Holly Golightly said...

That's so unfair. Sorry. Take it back and get one that works.

Beverly said...

So can you not just take the pill? I would give my left kidney to get back on it but alas, I am quite broke.

jurl said...

Holly- Yes, this sucks. I'm hoping the first one is the worst one.

Beverly- Sadly, I am unable to correctly take the pill. I will routinely forget no matter how hard I try and absolutely cannot risk getting pregnant. And cannot utilize abstinence as it makes Husband cranky. I wish you a windfall of birth control pills.

Anonymous said...

My first one was bad, too, but my doctor told me it would be (had it put in mid-July). I believe it gets better after a few months, but I found a blog full of complaints about some of the side effects. Some opted to have it taken out and felt better immediately. You might want to wait a bit and see if it gets better, but do some research and see. It may not be for you.

AZMom said...

If you are bleeding really bad, you need to be seen right away. You can become anemic and then really be in trouble. How do I know? I've been there. I started on the pill a year ago to control really bad periods and bled straight for 2 weeks and became just this side of needing a blood transfusion anemic...

Please go and get help. Get the IUD out and find something else that works.