Monday, September 8, 2008

Pee Pee Jurls,Yellow Blankies, And Anger Managment

Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, a brilliant (decent) idea for today's blogtastic entry popped into my head. I often stumble on an idea in that moment just before my brain plunges into a deep, deep sleep (a la me and Jesus on the phone). However, today I cannot recall what I came up with because Sam had an accident of the urine variety in the middle of the night, yanking me out of my REM sleep with, "Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma, I pee peed in my bed" and destroying the vague memory of my idea. So, instead of reading whatever witty idea slipped away into the night, you must suffer with my tale of parenting horror.

Bless her little tiny bladder. She rarely has night-time accidents and when she does it's not usually that big a deal, but last night she must have unleashed 65 gallons of pee. I felt like I was wiping up after an elephant's water broke. And to make things almost unholy worse, the yellow blankie got pee all over it. Sam broke down completely when I told her there'd be no sleeping with the stinky, stained, blankie.

Then she insisted on taking a shower when I just wanted to giver her a whore's bath with wipes. I caved because it got her out of the room where I was making the bed and left me in peace to sop up pee in blessed silence. The shower did calm her down, helping her take the yellow blankie deprivation like a big girl.

What really sends me over the edge during one of these middle of the night escapades isn't the pee, isn't the little girl screaming her head off at 2:30 a.m. over a pee blanket, but the Husband snoring his ass off in the room next door. How is it possible he never hears any of it? He awakes fresh in the morning, looks at my zombie-crazed ass and demands to know why I slept late (aka why I didn't work out). I have no idea why I didn't get up extra early so I could exercise, then get the kids ready, then get myself ready, then get to work by 8:15 a.m., then work all day, then pick up the kids, then come home to clean, make dinner, and play with said kids. Huh. No idea why I took an extra hour of sleep. Sometimes I want to get an ax from the garage.

Maybe tonight I'll wet the bed.


Leann I Am said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! We have TWO blankets that are exactly the same. I try to wash one while she has the other one, but she's two now and she can COUNT TO TWO. She prefers them BOTH, thank you very much!

I know just what you mean about the snoring! And sleeping right through it all. How do they do that? It's one of those little things that will probably eat away at me long after the kids are grown...

Claudia said...

LOL!! Leann. I thought I was the only one that got duped into the two blankie thing. Like a smart mom, I bought two of his favorite blankies (he calls them blankie one - yes, both are called blankie one) I thought I could wash one while he used the other, but no, he cannot sleep unless he has his two blankie ones! Ugh! oh well... now they are as thin as cheese cloth because of the frequent use and wash, but oh well... the kid's happy. Now I'm happy to know I'm not the only one.

and tot ouch on the original subject of the post, yes, I have a snoring hubby too. at least he has the excuse of having thought ahead and insisting on a split floor plan where the master bedroom is on the other side of the house as the kids and guest room. Guess who "slept" in the guest room on kid duty last night. That's right... moi!

jurl said...

Leann i am-Two blankets seems like a genius idea, but I'm sure with my littl satan worshiper it'd turn into double the fit throwing.

All I know is- thank God for mommas or babies would starve to death in the night and tots would have to sleep in their own filth.

Claudia- love the idea of blankie one and blankie one. Your kids a genius b/c he knows calling one #2 would some how lessen its value. genius, i say!