Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Say What, Jurl?!

Recently one of my dearest friends revealed to me that she shaves her bo-hawk (that's the mohawk that can be found between your bobo cheeks). As previously discussed in this blog, you get more than two women together and personal grooming will be discussed so it should be no surprise that with several of us jurls together and a few drinks tossed back, we began the debate about lasering the lady business and just how far should you go (cause you may need camouflage at a later date). It was when someone asked about lasering the butt crack that my friend said she shaves her crackin. With a razor. A razor.

My mouth hung open for a full minute as I experienced massive shock and confusion.

"But, how do you get a razor in there?" I asked when I could finally speak again.

My friend shrugged. "I just put my foot up on the ledge and get in there. You'll love it. It feels so clean."

"Love it?! I'll cut my ass up."

"No, you won't! I don't cut myself."

Guess what I did yesterday? Yep, I tried to shave my ass. Guess what else? It didn't work. I could not wedge that razor where it needed to go in a way that it could actually remove any bo-hawk. I'll admit I was a little timid with it at first because I was scared the razor head would snap off and get sucked into the vortex of my butt hole, leaving me to crap razor blades for days. But, when nothing happened I started shoving and whacking like I was pushing my way through the deepest, darkest, hair jungle.

Still nothing. I gave up pretty quick because I was getting out of breath (wrestling with a hippo will do that to ya). I suspect my friend is far more flexible and her cheeks are not as tightly pressed together as my very dense cheeks.

I think it's God's will that I keep my bo-hawk. I'm sure it keeps out flies and stuff.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh - BuTT you must keep trying - you'd love it! FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY!
TAZ

BoBono said...

Please post warnings before any posts related to butt cracks and wrestling hippos again! This one resulted in sweet tea through the nose and that kind of ruins it for me!

jurl said...

Taz- you so crazy.

Bobono- my bad, jurl! I'll try to give the TMI warning next time.

batGirl said...

Did you really start a category on your blog about butt cracks? I sincerely hope you didn't shave that bohawk sans lube. Speaking from experience, that is a bitch of a razor burn. Also, for future reference, never, and I repeat NEVER, use Nair or its equivalent on this oh so delicate region. You will get a chemical burn of which the likes you cannot fathom unless experienced. Consider yourself forewarned.

Anonymous said...

Jurl,

My lil sis tells me that if you put one leg on the soap holder (in tub)and squat down a little, shave from back to mid front then it will work! "And you don't need shaving cream but make sure you use Quatro razor blades those are the best!"...she adds. Can you believe this!

jurl said...

Batgirl- on this blog, butt crack is not only a valid category, it's mandatory. Why would anyone pour acid on their prives?

Anon- What is wrong with today's youth? I was using the lady quattro...maybe I need a bush whacker.