Last night I had three dear friends over for dinner- Bat Girl, Pip, and DB (Dirty Bitch). Over the course of the night we established once and for all that I have no memory. I'm talking, nada, zip, zilch, memory.
Remember that wedding we went to of that friend of yours?
Remember that rodeo you went to with the family and you took that boyfriend who stayed on the phone the whole time and you were mad at him?
What boyfriend? I've been to the rodeo before?
Remember that time you told me you had to break up a poop in a public restroom because you feared overflow? (Anogther blog for another time.)
I told you that?
It's a problem. My cousin has always been my childhood memory because without her it's almost a blank. She'll say, "Jackie Dan was so crazy chasing us around the campsite with those baby frogs at the family reunion!"
And I'll say, "I was there?"
Cous says, "Yes! You were wearing that purple sundress with the white flowers."
Completely perplexed, I ask, "When was this?"
She shrugs, "Like when I was seven and you were eight."
I shrug back, "I don't remember that at all. Sure don't remember that dress. Are you sure I was there?"
Cous sighs, "Yes, you were there."
And it's not just things that happened decades ago. I've only got a fifty-fifty chance of remembering something that happened weeks ago. Just ask Pip who is witness to my black hole memory because she'll talk about something that happened last week and I'll stare at her with my dead face until she asks, "You don't remember what I'm talking about do you?" I sadly shake my head, "No."
I hope nothing super traumatic happened to me in my childhood that has engineered this memory loss as a defense mechanism. Of course, I can't remember it, so who cares?
I also don't remember everybody I got to third base with so maybe this mini-Alzheimer's isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it's a blessing.
What were we talking about?