Jurls Meeting Jurls

When asked the question, "Who would you most like to meet, living or dead (with the caveat you would not meet the corpse, but the living being, somehow) I never really had a good answer. The old school religion that was bred in me made feel like I should pick Jesus, but come on, Jesus might not dig down on my sense of humor (see Heavenly Jurl). Plus, I'd worry he was observing me for sin. So, Jesus is out.

Then I think, if not Jesus, I should pick a great President like Lincoln, but what if Lincoln was a dick, other than freeing the slaves and what not. I can see us sitting at a Starbucks with him complaining about his mocha latte being cold while I gag because he has low fat blueberry muffin stuck in his beard. Then he farts really loud because back in his time they weren't insecure about their gas (who knew?) and then I discover he's a big old racist when he threatens to call the police over a mixed couple sharing a fruit and cheese bowl! That would be terribly disappointing. I could never use a penny again....not that I use them now, but still.

But today it hit me who I'd want to meet if I could meet anyone and turns out there are two extraordinary women I'd like to sip coffee with at Starbucks: Tina Turner and Christiane Amanpour.

I have always loved Tina Turner and by always I mean since the 1980s where my life really began. Not only is she a great talent, great performer, and has great legs, but she was a success when she shouldn't have been. A poor black woman finds fame with an abusive husband, then plunges into obscurity when she finally gets a way from him, only to wind up on top of the world and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome due to her personal strength and perseverance! Who wouldn't want to meet such a power house of bad assness? I even forgive her the weird accent she's cultivated because her life has been hard and she's Tina so she can talk however she wants (but, not you, Madonna, you're still a freak with that bad British accent).

Christiane Amanpour is just a bad ass. She is brilliant, worldly, sophisticated, and classy under pressure. She's been everywhere, met everyone, and understands the difference between a Sunni and a Shiite. My only hesitation with meeting her is feeling like a total dumb ass, but it'd be worth it because she is who I want to be in my next life when I'm a totally different person-- you know, a person who doesn't mind leaving the house.

I feel relieved to finally have an answer to this age old question. If you're not sure who your dream encounter (and I don't mean sexual though you might could work that in) should be, take a moment to consider who in this crazy world inspires you. No answer is wrong unless it's Sarah Palin. Just kidding. Not really.


I look good in cartoon and in real life.


That's right, I'm extra-awesome and you're not.