Accident Prone Jurls and Boys

My kids' school is closed for the holiday so yesterday (my day off) I was stuck parenting them both all day all by myself. Somewhere between Jakey screaming for crayons to eat and Sam boo-hooing for me to color with her while I was trying to do some work I decided I'd better take them to the playground behind our house before one of us lost it and killed the other two.

Now, typically it's Husband's job to do playground duty because I'm a vampire who likes to remain indoors, in the dark, as much as possible. But I decided a little sun would do us all some good so I loaded them in the wagon and headed to the park.

All was going so well until Sam and another little girl wanted me to push them on the swings. I sat Jakey down behind me and proceeded to push the swings like a good mommy. Well, that Jakey is fast for a little tubbs and before I knew what had happened he'd waddled out in front of Sam who swung into him feet first, knocking poor Jakey about ten feet. Oops.

I calmed the little guy down then went back to pushing Sam and the other little girl. I'm sure some of the other parents were wondering why I would do the same thing that had just resulted in Jake being punted across the park, but what's a solo parent to do? I did try to keep a closer eye on him.... About two minutes went by with no casualties then the next thing I know, Sam goes flying through the air! She did a somersault and landed faced down in the dirt. She was like a flying Wolenza!

I yelped, "Oh My Gosh!" as Sam lifted her crumpled little body, turned to look at me, and yelled, "MOMMY, YOU PUSHED ME!" I did not push her. She let go. I swear.

I ran to her side (trying to look overwrought like a good parent should when their daughter flips off the swing) and yelled (so other parents would be sure to hear), "I did not push you! You let go!" Sam yelled back, "I didn't let go! You pushed me!"

As I brushed the dirt off of her I tried to casually inventory all the Judgey Judgersons who had now watched me allow two children to be injured (though in my defense neither were my fault....except maybe Jakey getting knocked out....). I was convinced someone was considering calling CPS on me.

I gave up on Sam (after she stopped crying) and took Jakey over to sit on the bench and eat rocks (because he eats everything- yesterday he ate diaper cream, rocks, and dirt). Later I heard a little girl advise Sam to hold on tighter and Sam replied, "I did hold on, my Mommy pushed me!" Goodnight, nurse.

And I think Jakey ate about 243 rocks. His poops gonna weigh a ton. There's a reason Husband does the playground. I'm better at other things....like reading stories, or snuggling on the couch, or a multitude of other things that don't require me to be outside or active.