Sometimes things happen at work that make me lose my mind. I'm talking a fantasy spiral into quitting on the spot even if it means Husband chops me up and wedges pieces of me between the fish sticks and the Popsicles. It'd be worth it.
I'm trying very hard to recall my Eckhart Tolle zen-like state of beingness where I release my ego and let other's nonsense pass through me as if I were a sheet of glass. Sadly, it's not working because when I close my eyes and envision myself as the sheet of glass I suddenly transform into a weapon that starts slashing throats. Before I know it I'm covered in blood, surrounded by a mountain of dead bodies, and laughing maniacally. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
In practice I'm not a violent person, I don't even spank my kids (though I realllly want to sometimes), but during these internal fits of rage I'm a mass murderer. I leap on people as if I were a Kung Fu master, crack their head open, then scoop out their brain to use as a dish rag. Is that weird? Frankly, I think it helps me behave civilly when I really want to go wild ass animal on someone.
It's a good thing I work in a law firm where we don't have many weapons handy like axes (fantasy favorite), butcher knives, crow bars, acid, bamboo spears, tasers, or the such. Though we do have plastic knives, staplers, a glue gun, paper clips, letter openers, printer ink,, luke warm coffee, and a mail cart ( I might could run someone over)....so maybe it's not so safe. Maybe I should discuss this with my therapist....or maybe people should stop being retarded.
I think blood is really slimming on me.