Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Jurl and Her Husband

Tomorrow is my 10 year anniversary with Husband. Instead of giving each other wedding gifts when we married we agreed to write each other a letter. I still have Husband's beautiful words to me tucked carefully inside my bedside table. Husband is still waiting for his. I know, I know, I'm a rude bitch. How could I insist we write these love letters then not write one to Husband?! That's just how I roll. But, ten years later I plan to make good on my obligation....so here goes:

Dear Husband:

We fell in love over El Fenix dinners, law books, and peanut butter-chocolate ice cream and, though we've expanded our dining experience beyond The Bird, left behind those old law books, and eschew the ice cream for fear of clogging our arteries, I continue to fall in love with you every day. Of course, now it's over diapers, tantrums, and our favorite T.V. shows. Ah, romance.

Ten years ago I loved a guy because he was cute, because he was funny, because he had good potential to be a husband and father. Today I love a man who works hard, who pays the bills, who loves his children, who cares for his wife, who indulges his mother-in-law, who appreciates the mother of his children, who mows the yard, who'd rather be with his family than anywhere else, who still makes me laugh, who still melts my butter, who coaches his daughter's soccer team, who smooches his son, who sends beautiful flowers, who says "I love You" before he hangs up the phone, who always does his best, and who is committed to his marriage. I love the man of my dreams, the one I could never have dreamed of until I had him.

Of course, every day of the last ten years has not been the pink of perfection. We have fought ugly, we have fought silently, we have fought with tears, with anger, and with frustration. I've kicked over a lamp and you've punched the wall. Some days we've let each other down and our marital path is littered with disappointments. Yet here we are, ten years, two kids, and a mortgage later, still trying to make it work by working at it. And I daresay, that we are better together than we have ever been because we have matured into two people who put the needs of our marriage before the needs of ourselves.

I know that you will always give everything you have to our marriage, not just because you love me or for the kids, but because you made a promise to God to be my husband, for better or for worse, and though those words don't mean much to some, I know they mean the world to you. You are a man of his word, a promise keeper. You love God and you make good on it.

I guess I should tell you why I love you, but the list is really too long to enumerate so I'll just say: I love you because you are everything that love is-- funny, touching, tough, commanding, expectant, giving, relentless, delightful, warming, earth shaking, spine tingling, flawed, forgiving, trusting, and the million other wonderful things that make my heart belong to you. (I just made a list didn't I?)

Ten years ago we entered into marriage and now ten years later we have made one. I am so grateful for the opportunity to love you and so relieved that I was not too afraid to take it. You make me so much better than I could ever be on my own.

I love you, Husband. Happy Anniversary.

7 comments:

TJ said...

That's a really great letter, so good that I'm thinking about ripping it off. Our 9th anniversary is on the 16th.

BoBono said...

I am totally ripping you off for Father's Day. It is the best blog for "insert male occasion here" ripping. Wonderful sentiment which will mean a lot to him and is heartfelt from you. The fact that it is helping out a lot of your Jurls is a bonus :)

The Red Pen said...

It's probably totally inappropriate to comment since that was so personal and I'm a complete stranger, but I really like your blog, and that post just made a recent divorcee think marriage might not be so bad. Thanks!

Jurl said...

Thanks so much and my love letter is your love letter! And nothing I write is too personal to comment on....in fact, no comments make me a sad Jurl. Keep hope alive, marriage is hard, but worth it.

Sarah and Chadd said...

Beautiful words Jurl :D I hope in ten years Chadd and I will have a marriage as blessed as yours!!! CONGRATS on your 10 year!! Hope to see you soon :D :D

suzanne said...

jurl, like my pal tj (whom i referred to your blog), i'm thinking about plagarizing your letter too. we have our 10 year in august. i guess the comment "my love letter is your love letter" means that i can have parts of it legitimately. thanks!

Anonymous said...

You just made me cry, jurl...that's so beautiful!