HV (Hot Vagina):"You ladies need to try Intrigue Heat."
Me: "What! I don't want a hot vagina!"
HV: "Have you ever tried it?"
Me: "No, but once I put some Icy Hot on my sore knee then put some pantyhose on and twenty minutes later my crotch was on fire so I'm gonna pass on the vagina burning."
HV: "Get a Brazilian and you won't have any hair to burn."
Me: "I'm not getting a Brazilian!"
HV: "It doesn't hurt that bad."
Me: "I'm more concerned about the poor woman who has to dive into my lady swamp. And when she dug into the ass part I'm afraid a pre-historic cave dwelling creature might fly out of that dark crevasse and attack her!"
HV: "Well, there's a 'him and her' Intrigue...it heats him up, too. I'm gonna get some of that stuff because he couldn't feel the burning sensation. I kept asking him, 'can you feel the heat' but he kept saying he didn't feel a thing!"
Me: "WTF. Do you hear yourself? 'Burning sensation?' People usually put ointments on their prives to stop the burning, not start it and try to spread it to their partner!"
HV: "Now my husband wants to use ice cubes and candles..."
Me: "Well if you keep heating up your vagina you'll need to cool it off, just don't get the open flame near your vag or you might catch it on fire."