Let me say right up front that I'm one of those grown-ups, and I use that term loosely, that loves Halloween. Husband and I both turn into twelve year olds on October 1, dragging down the Halloween junk from the attic, draping cobwebs everywhere, squirting fake blood here and there. Oh, yeah, we're awesome.
Husband skips the costumes because he's to cool for school, but I even love to play dress-up, though I don't always squeeze myself into a costume. When I do dress-up it's usually something that actually requires limited costumery like an asbestos fairy (wings, wand, and Tiffany bag of glitter), my boss (suit, paper cut out of his face, and reading glasses to throw at people), or a witch (hat, pink hair spray, and one black cape).
Not that I wouldn't like to go all out, but let's face it who wants to see me in a sexy vampira costume? I can't be seen with stuff oozing between the sexy slits in my vampire skirt! People might puke. Although, my arm fat does flap like bat wings so that I kind of works.....
Sexy vampires aside, I've always dressed up for Halloween. As a kid I was almost always a princess. Remember how costumes used to be a creepy, hard, plastic mask that somewhat resembled your character of choice, and a poncho? I was always creepy- poncho Cinderella or creepy-poncho Sleeping Beauty, every year, but one year.
One year I had a brain aneurysm and chose a costume that was off my beaten path, way off. I'm pretty sure Momma Jurl tried to talk me out of it, knowing as all mothers do that I would regret making this choice, but I refused to listen, as all strong willed young girls do.
I'm not sure I can even describe this costume....I think the finished product was supposed to be an alien. It came with a green plastic poncho, of course, a blow-up alien head, and green paint. And I just had to have it.
Come Halloween night my mom put the poncho on me, painted my face green, and blew up the alien head, which turned out to be gigantic, and then strapped the gigantic alien head on top of my head. Are you getting a picture?
I took one look in the mirror and refused to go trick or treating. It looked like the kind of costume a slow-witted kid would have chosen and I was traum-a-tized. But, since I'd insisted on having it, Momma Jurl made me go out in public and beg for candy. It was horrible.
That Halloween taught me something about myself, I like to be costume pretty, not costume just fell off the short bus. Ever since then I have eschewed the plastic poncho and alien blow-up heads, opting instead for gypsies, princesses, and pretty witches.
So parents, don't let your children make a terrible costume choice involving a blow-up head and their face painted to be an alien torso, but if you do, don't make them go out in it. Just give them a bag of candy and let them watch television.
This my costume for next year. Now I just need to lose 200 pounds and become a cartoon character. I can totally pull that off by next Halloween.