Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A Jurl and Her Narcoleptic

I realize the husband who passes out after sex is a cliche and an old joke, but even so, I am always amazed when the cliche transpires in my own bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased as punch when Husband curls into the fetal position and starts sawing logs like Sleepy Dwarf in a coma immediately after "giving it to me", but the speed at which this occurs is shocking. There's only enough time to say "It was good, love you" then I'm alone in the darkness with Husband's gentle snoring and the slightly uncomfortable residue of sexual activity.

This narcoleptic behavior further cements the idea that a man's noodle is directly connected to his sausage (for you laymen, that means his brain is connected to his penis). It's like once a guy's ding-dong goes bong, the "On" switch gets flipped off. Or maybe it's more a circuit overload, like when two hair dryers are going in the same room and a fuse blows (no pun intended, here). Maybe the male brain can't think and orgasm at the same time so their fuse blows (pun intended, here) leaving them temporarily brain dead (though for some men it's not that temporary).

Again, I'm not complaining because after a day of children clinging to my skirt the last thing I want is to have another human being draped over me, draining my will to live, while I try to sleep. Still, it's interesting from a scientific perspective. I may apply for a research grant...then it'll be like I'm getting paid for sex! I'm a genius.

Oh, and Husband, if you're reading this, the real reason you fall asleep immediately after giving me the greatest sex of my life, is because you are a Sex God and must hibernate to replenish your sex powers.

Hope he didn't do it on the pole......


Anonymous said...

OMG - Peed my pants laughing.

Holly Golightly said...

Try this out some day-- wake him up around 5 AM for some morning sex. Make sure it's one of your non-working days. Then when he passes out, flee! Go to the spa. Go shopping. Go watch 4 movies back to back. He'll wake up and realize he's stuck with the kids clinging to his skirt. But what's he going to do? He can't complain if he ever wants sex again.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU HOLLY!!! I am going to try this the first day we have no sporting events. I just wish I would have thought of it 10 years ago.

As for my husband sex just revs him up and he retreats to the living room to wind down.z


Anonymous said...

That is SO my husband- EXACTLY! He can barely kiss me when we're done having sex because he's already passed out asleep.