Tuesday, December 9, 2008

GD Jurl

Just before Husband was gathering up the children for the morning school drop off, Jake got a hold of a black crayon, half of which he ate and the other half he used to draw all over his shirt. Husband cried out for me to get off my ace and take care of my child so I hoisted myself off the couch and made my way to my little black-toothed Tubbs. As I shuffled over to him, lamenting this latest crayon tragedy, Sam expressed her frustration with, "God Dammit."

Husband and I both froze in our tracks wondering if we heard what we heard. Of course, we made her repeat it twice before we accepted she had in fact dropped a GD right in the middle of our kitchen. We went nutso, demanding she tell us where she heard it and ordering her to never say it again or else!

As Husband pressured her to reveal the foul mouth that taught her this crudest of curse words I thought of Ralphie in A Christmas Story when he got busted repeating curses he heard from his dad, but when forced to name names he blamed his friend for fear of the fall out from citing his father's potty mouth. Poor, poor Ralphie.

Husband pushed for a name like the Gestapo, but Sam just cried, saying she didn't want to tell us then saying she didn't know where she heard it. I can assure you she didn't hear it from us because Husband and I don't use that phrase in our worst moments.

Now, might she hear Husband mutter "damn it" under his breath on occasion? Sure! But that's no GD and even his under the breath cursing is rare. We save our bad language for private arguments and/or the boudoir. I've converted all my "oh, shits" and "damn its" to "oh, snaps" and "oh, poopers." I repeat, she did not hear it from us.

But, I don't think we'll be hearing it again because she was pretty shaken by our reaction. Lots of tears, hugs, and snot transpired before they finally shuffled out the door to school.

Once they were gone all I could think about was....thank goodness they're all out of the house and I can have a few moments of quiet. Oh, snap.

I'll be sharing this image with Sam.


ATLGAL said...

Eh, yikes. I may drop the occasional F bomb and I admit to using ass and shit semi-often, probably more than I should around my wee girl, but GD is one that I absolutely cannot abide and could never say. My mother threatened us with death and/or eternal damnation if we ever took God or the Lord's name in vain, and it stuck. So yep, that would freak me out too and I too would demand to know where such language was heard. That's just one of those (maybe the only one) that hurts my ears. Interestingly, my very very Catholic and very very holier than thou "don't tell me you missed Mass last week" mother-in-law uses that particular term liberally. Odd, no? Everytime she does I am completely shocked and, truly, offended. Didn't her Mama teach her better?

BoBono said...

Oh, my dear friends in Jurland! You need look no further than what ATLGAL alluded to in her post to find the culprit. Seek out the Catholic in Sams life and you will find the origin of GD. We Catholics just love to drop a few GDs and JCs and when we're really worked up a loud ass JHC. Don't believe me? Check out a Kathy Griffin comedy special


Elle Woods said...

Sadly, my Catholic-born and raised husband drops GDs more frequently than I would like. He has improved though, thanks to my liberal doses of bitchery whenever he uses the aforementioned profanity. What is it with Catholics and GD? :-)

Scout said...

That is very funny,because I never used GD until a couple of years ago. I never thought of it before but I became Catholic 3 years ago. I have been making a conscience effort to do better.

And you know that I was not the one she heard it from because I haven't been around you lately.

Francie Stevens said...

This is hilarious. I was not aware of the Catholic connection, but I realize that I fall into the stereotype because I am Catholic and dropped my first GD in public at the age of 8 at a beach party with my class and several parents. Not only did I say GD, I directed it at a parent, as in, "Get that GD boat over here!!" My father feigned horror and publicly scolded me, which confused me greatly so I pointed out to him, "But you let me say it at home all the time Daddy!" I had strange swearing rules in my house. Everything was pretty much okay except for the F-word and assh*le.

Francie Stevens said...

Must be my liberal San Francisco upbringing :-)

Kiki said...

It always rattled me that a dear Catholic friend of mine says GD and JC. I am still afraid of several things based on Mr. Haas, my fifth and sixth grade teacher in Lutheran school. One of those things is that I will never say GD. I drop the F-bomb about 15 times a day (more if drinking) but I try not to even say OMG, though I do. I ask myself, must I really invoke God's name about a purse? (Or, Francie, a muppet? But, man, that is so cool!)

ATLGAL said...

I am amazed at the pile on re: my observation re: my Catholic Mother in Law and the use of GD! An epiphany for me! BoBono, my MIL also LOVES to say JC, JHC, and, of course "Jesus Mary and JOSEPH" (usually when she's riding shotgun in the vehicle with someone whose driving she considers less than safe). It blows my mind each and every time. My own mother's chin would drop to the ground if she could hear all this Catholic swearing around her baby grandaughter, esp. when it comes from the wee girl's other grandmother! I try not to mention it to my Ma b/c I don't see a reason why she should know, it would trouble her deeply. She'd probably say it goes hand in hand with the Catholic drinking (another thing my dear Ma does not view as appropriate, except in very very moderate amounts on very very infrequent and festive occasions, and its always a big joke about how awful she is for doing it when she does, finally, consume one glass of wine once a year).

jurl said...

Indeed, this Catholic cursing business is new to me. We are on the hunt for the Catholic in her life (not you Scout, I know it wasn't your lot of Cathys). Sam has not cursed anything else since the GD incident so for now we're all pretending it never happened.

Sweet Baby Jesus.

Francie Stevens said...

Kiki, I think even God said OMG when Fao Schwarz started the "make your own muppet"!