What up, my jurls? Sorry for the absence, but my family is in the midst of a crisis. My beloved Aunt's heart stopped in the wee hours of Monday morning for an unknown reason and for an unknown period of time. We have spent every day at the hospital getting worse and worse news.
My Aunt and Uncle have three daughters, six young grandchildren and twins on the way. She is 58 with no prior health problems. My family is in pain. Still, we manage to laugh through our tears so I'll share a couple of quick hits with you...
Each day I've picked my mother up and taken her to the hospital. By Wednesday we were really getting on each other's nerves. We bickered, griped, and I farted all the way there. We stopped at Jack in the Box to pick up lunch and my mother had me in such hysterics, when the little guy opened the window to pass us our cokes I yelled, "DO YOU HAVE A MOTHER??? DOES SHE DRIVE YOU CRAZY???"
The Jack in the Box dude looked frightened but shook his head in the affirmative.
One night my poor Uncle started musing about how old deceased relatives would be if they were still alive. "Papa would be 136 years old....Grandpa would be 142 years old....."
I said, "And Jesus would be 2000 years old if he were still alive!"
Every twenty minutes my mom asks, "Has anyone seen my cell phone? I've lost my cell phone?"
Someone always has to point out, "It's in your hand."
Ugh. Pray that we survive this.