Dear Jurl Answers Ms. Muffett

Dear Jurl,

Whenever I stay at mother in law's house, I am forced to sleep on sheets that look and feel substantially the same as a burlap bag. Last time I was so uncomfortable that I had to get up and sleep on the couch with my dog. In the future, would it be rude for me to bring my own sheets and pillow cases?

Little Miss Muffett (without the whey)

Dear Miss Muffett:

I don't think bringing your own sheets is any more rude than sleeping on the couch with your dog. And this way your mom-in-law might not start imagining problems between you and her son that prompt you to move to the couch.

However, I have an even better suggestion that can be summed up in one word: HOTEL.
That's right, I say don't ever, ever, ever stay at the home of your in-laws. Even if you have to save pennies and clip coupons to afford the room rate, I assure you it will be worth it. I have never stayed with my in-laws because they live fifteen minutes away, but I can only imagine the horror (and I love my in-laws). For instance, what if I accidentally saw my father-in-law a la nude? I would be rendered permanently blind. What if I heard them having "relations"? I would be rendered permanently deaf. What if they fart a lot? What if I need to fart a lot? And nobody can walk around the house in the morning comfortably....like with your boobs hanging out of your gown. No, there will be no slumber parties with the fam for moi.

There is no price I wouldn't pay to avoid those types of horrific moments. So, start your hotel fund now and never sleep on burlap again. Or the couch. Except when you're pissed at your husband.

Love,
Jurl