Friday, October 16, 2009

Burnin Bunhole Jurl

I spent the last couple of weeks in trial in Fort Worth which is a great place to be stuck in trial if you've got to be stuck in trial. We stay a few blocks from the courthouse at the Worthington which is pretty nice and downtown Ft. Worth is super cute. I only have one complaint about my stay in cow town: Aveda Rosemary Mint Shampoo.

The Worthington has Aveda products, the aforementioned Rosemary Mint Shampoo. My first morning in the hotel I hopped in the shower with the shampoo and began to do my shower business. I realized I didn't have any soap so I decided to just wash off with the shampoo (don't act like you've never used shampoo as body wash, you know you have). So I washed my arms, my apron, my under-boobs, etc., all with no problem. Then I washed my butt. It took a second for me to realize my shower had just gone horribly, horribly wrong, but then my ass started burning like someone pored acid in my crack. At first, I had no idea why my butthole was on fire and then I took a closer look at the shampoo bottle, expecting to see a skull & cross bones. As I read "mint" on the label, the horror sank in. Mint tingles your toes, it tickles your scalp, and sets your asshole on fire.

I dropped the bottle then bent over in an attempt to get the shower to spray right into my business. My back was getting washed, but my undercarriage was still a burnin, burnin, burnin ring of fire. I had to position myself with my forehead pressed against the back of the shower in a semi-downward dog to finally get the angle right. Still, I went to court that morning with a tender taint....but a minty smelling ass.

Jurl lesson learned: do not apply mint product of any kind to tender areas such as the prives, taint, or crackus.

Shower safely, jurls.